Who Wants To Live Forever?
by Yuuki Miyaka
Summary: [angst, deathfic] Why must Rayek be Winnowill's living prison?


Who Wants To Live Forever?  
An ElfQuest Story  
by: Yuuki Miyaka

**Disclaimer:**  


ElfQuest and all of its characters belong to WaRP Graphics and Father Tree Press, who retain all rights and priveleges to it.

'Who Wants To Live Forever?' is a song sung by Queen. All rights and priveleges are retained by the rightful owner.

Both of these have been borrowed for the production of this piece of fanfiction. The author points out that the actual story is original, and therefore should be considered the sole property of said author. She also wishes to point out that she is recieving no gain from this other than the pleasure of writing it.

**Author's Final Note:**  


Although I don't own Rayek, he owns part of my heart. This is strictly a what-if fic, and not what I truly wish for him.

* * *

_"There's no time for us,  
There's no place for us.  
What is this thing  
That builds our dreams  
And slips away from us?"_

He was floating, free-falling into a canyon of despair deeper than the world, with no way to stop himself from hitting the bottom. For hundreds upon thousands of years, he'd clung to a false hope, a dream borne of illusion and manipulation. And now he was waking into reality.

He felt her soul clawing at his, demanding, as always, to be free. For the first time since he'd gently gathered up her soul into his body, he ignored her. He knew now. She'd used him. They'd shared nothing, not a soul-bond, not even respect. All these years, and she still couldn't feel as he did. And he was beginning to wonder if he truly did feel so strongly. Or was that just another dream, built by illusion that faded upon his waking?

_"Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever?  
Who . . . "_

He was full-elf, like her. He was Forever, and yet . . . For the first time in his miserably long life, he began to wonder. How long was forever? How fragile was life?

She'd died. He couldn't stop it. But no. She lived on in him, slowly but surely eating away at his mind until he could feel the madness slipping inside his brain, taking over. And there was no way to stop it, because he was Forever.

_"There's no chance for us.  
It's all decided for us.  
This world has only  
One sweet moment  
Set aside for us."_

He felt the dream slipping away, dying within the waking understanding of his realization. She would never love him, could never learn how. That knowledge had been lost to her long before they'd ever met, when she'd first turned from Voll.

He could remember only their one joining without feeling the anguish of a dream shattered. He had to believe she'd meant that one, at least. There was no other choice. If she'd been using him since that first time, then his entire world was a lie. And whoever he was, whatever he did, he could not live that lie.

_"Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever?  
Who . . .  
Who dares to love forever  
When love must die?"_

No matter what she'd done, he loved her. He had no choice. She was all he had left, was the only thing he could even feel anymore. Staring inwardly at the two souls, separate yet hopelessly entwined, he began to see a way to change things, a way to save them both. Once more, she attacked, striking blow after painful blow to his soul, expecting him to push her back as always. But no . . .

_"And touch my tears  
With your lips  
Touch my world  
With your fingertips."_

As she dove toward him, he held his soul-arms open. Instead of striking solidly, she fell into him, soul touching soul. The contact was . . . pleasant. Soothing. He felt himself begin to cry, the tears inside, not out. And he watched in raw surprise as she leaned in, kissing them away with soft soul-lips, looked down and saw gentle soul-fingers pressed to his inner chest just where the heart would be.

He enveloped her before she could begin to realize, his essence murmurring gentle words of love and reassurance. And amazingly, he felt her somehow respond. Had she given up on hurting him, now that she was confronted with true understanding of who he was, what he felt?

_"And we can have forever.  
And we can love forever.  
Forever without an end."_

He felt himself sliding back into the dream he'd pursued for so long, felt the love sliding backwards into blind devotion. For a long moment, he let it, wondering if he could continue to delude himself, wondering if he really wanted to now that he'd seen the truth.

_"Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever?  
Forever is our today."_

No. He couldn't live like that anymore, couldn't continue to pretend when he knew the truth of how she felt. And even as he realized that, he felt the pain begin, felt soulsharp claws rending at his very being. She'd seen the trap. He searched his spirit-cocoon and found it intact. She couldn't break through, would never be able to.

This was forever. His love for her would give his soul the strength to carry on no matter what the circumstances were. And he knew how to give his spirit more strength, even as the thought scared him.

It took him a moment to notice that he was ready, to see the silver blade of the knife against his tan skin. He'd been watching her spirit for so long, he hadn't even realized that he'd shifted back to actual outward perception. As he stared at the light gleaming off of metal, he had only one thought.

Full elves weren't Forever. Only spirits were Forever.

And with two quick movements, he was free, though still cocooning Winnowill's spirit, protecting the others. He finally had what he'd needed. He, Rayek, was Forever.

_"Who waits forever, anyway?"_


End file.
